Khlumnus Hodoratus

Demons within and without

Hey! Have you ever seen the gates of hell?

I use such an auspicious name to enshrine the complexities of the impasse waiting just before the threshold. That enigmatic choice in the form of an ultimate doorway takes on many different shapes and forms.

While there is a temptation in some to reject the notion outright for its religious overtones, I enjoy it for those same reasons.

The leap of faith required to pass beyond should not be an easy decision. Moving forward when it is impossible to retrace your steps is uncomfortable.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the will to act despite being wracked into submission by it.

It’s the third week of

Nico Harlakenden

‘s STCKTMBR challenge and the prompt this time is:

Sept 15—The Threshold

Crossing into a place you can’t cross back from.

And if you want to catch up with my previous entries, here they are:

• Permafrost #1 The Bargain

• Permafrost #2 The Offering

So without further ado, let’s see where we go.

Permafrost #3 The Threshold

The inferno arrived. That was the gift of our bounty. I watched her body burn.

Cristalla engulfed by the fires of Pandora’s Box.

And then I fled.

I am a coward.

I marched. The hellfire consumed everything. My mind broke. I couldn’t let myself cry. The tears would freeze on my face and I would surely find a most painful death in the white.

In the blue and green.

In her eyes.

I thought that was what I wanted, but in the moment I lacked the courage.

I was afraid.

We had found what we sought. The largest deposit of methane clathrate on Earth. The sky itself lamented our discovery, hiding the wind behind those fiery gates.

“Be not afraid.” Those words echoed in my head. He taught me his name: Khlumnus Hodoratus. He beckoned me to leave my prison cell.

I pledged my soul to never listen.

I became lazy and sloppy.

“Fuck off! Fucking asshole!” Pounding fists against those hexagonal walls until they bled, my ritual repeated five times every day. A red mural painted in uneven lines.

And her voice rang in my ears as a call to prayer.

“Always and forever.”

I lost any sense of time, pairing well with the lack of direction. The conditions outside worsened. I never checked the readings anymore, but I heard the various machines beep out their complaints at irregular intervals.

I knew the electronic melody they sang was one of redemption.

“I promised her!”

How many pounds of flesh?

I smacked my forehead against the wall to feel the cold. They were made out of a unique blend of materials meant for insulation. Carbon fiber and other hydrates.

“And we can trust their word?” The final doubts were discussed as the judge held his gavel just above his podium. I reached for Cristalla’s hand as the chain tugged tight on our spines.

“Dr. Lathis Ergon and Dr. Cristalla Ktisis are at the forefront of humankind’s limits in knowledge. The two esteemed scholars, whose valor bore witness to their convergent evolution in epistemic theories, have concluded that this methane clathrate is indeed found in the barren wastelands of our abandoned north. Apocalyptic revelations are our only salvation!”

The devil’s advocate played his role well. He knew our history, but with a single glance between our clasped hands, I knew Cristalla shared my humor. The sophist’s passionate argument was held together by faithless logic. He simply saw us as another victim for whom he was paid to defend.

“By order of Adamastic decree, Dr. Lathis Ergon and Dr. Cristalla Ktisis are hereby sentenced to embody the messianic desires of what is left of our collective consciousness.” The judge let the gavel fall and all was decided.

They spared every expense. Even with those shortsighted plans, we wouldn’t die outright. That translated into supplies that sufficed and a well designed barrier to keep the wind away.

Our shelter wasn’t made for anything more than that. The cold of the frost below seeped through in shameful waves.

“Not before her! I was meant to die first!” But that wasn’t what kept me from stepping past the threshold. I could feel his presence as I slammed my skull between the cracks.

I only stopped when I passed out, concussed.

Dragged deep into the permafrost, my body withering away. The cold crept up and into my veins.

I will never understand why my heart still fought back.

When I wasn’t overcome with rage, I hoped the shelter would finally give up and give in. Collapse and release the energy inside.

That would be a good life.

A good end.

“I don’t feel alive anymore.”

Cristalla’s words haunted me. How long we had striven to find reason in the randomness. My mind’s refusal to accept the reality before my eyes was useless.

My body brought my soul back home.

A fear so strong I was left paralyzed in purgatory.

“Thou needst not suffer.” Khlumnus Hodoratus learned how to speak to me through the barrier. His voice on the wind never penetrated the walls, but he wrote words using my blood as it dripped down the sides. “Infantile child of man.”

His inferno was growing. He wanted to welcome me past the gates of hell.

I was so afraid.

I wanted the cold to take me.

The temperature outside was rising.

“They’ll throw parades for us!” Cristalla grabbed my hand and raised my arm up from the floor. She was so beautiful. I could admire her body when we didn’t need to wear the layers of coats and furs. But her eyes were green. “Remember what I said! We’re both making it back, alright? We deserve a celebration!”

Her smile was so genuine. Her soul was bleached white.

“Cristalla…” I whispered her name between gasps in the night. She would disappear when I awoke and found myself on the cold floor. “…I’m still alive?”

The pressure of that prison was different from the one I had known since birth. All scholars were gifted with chains and chords set into our spines. An eternal source of nutrients and sustenance to allow for full focus on our work.

No rest for the weary as everyone understood the stakes.

Sacrifices were necessary if we were to survive as a species.

“Lathis!” Khlumnus Hodoratus mocked me with her voice. He had learned my deepest desires and greatest regrets. At any moment, I believed he could have chosen to burn my bones to ash, but he let me live instead.

“Fuck off!” Another fit of rage and I tore the last of our equipment apart. Silicon fragments flying every which way as I cut myself on the edge of what was once something very important.

I no longer cared.

“Lathis.” He knocked against every wall of the shelter. A unifying rhythm that was impossible to ignore. I could feel his flames beckoning me to come. To join him in his glory just outside the door. “Thou needst not suffer.”

I would never yield.

I promised if anything happened it would be me and not her.

He was a demon.

I told her I would die before her.

Khlumnus Hodoratus waiting for me.

“Always and forever.”

“Lathis!” Cristalla noticed after three months of no results. We were still impassioned by the idea of bringing the theory to life, but the cracks in our understanding were beginning to show themselves. “Take a look at these readings.”

She showed me some raw data. Our maps were useless, but we tried to remain productive. Analyzing samples and seeing if there were any missed details.

“I don’t see anything out of the ordinary.” I looked over the numbers and the graphs. “It’s all within our expected calculations. I suppose that proves the theory has some merit at least.”

“Exactly!” Cristalla looked up at me with those clear blue eyes. She was beautiful. I couldn’t hide my attraction. “We’re on the right path. It’s just a matter of time. Think of the fanfare that’ll be waiting for us!”

She reached for my hand and I reached for hers. We held each other and saw the only salvation there ever was. Together, we made our own warmth from the worldly desires of a shared dream.

“Cristalla…” I held her in my arms whenever we let the morning run late, caressing her face and no longer worrying about the failures of our theories. “I love you.”

“I’m sorry…”

She looked the same as when I held her.

And then she was gone and I was alone.

Except I wasn’t alone.

He was always there.

Khlumnus Hodoratus as I claimed to call him. His inferno released once we ignited the burning ice. Well beyond any rational explanation, that demon invited me to join him on the other side.

A will not my own.

No longer frozen by the permafrost, my legs moved without my volition. One step into another until I was at the entrance. Cristalla then helped me raise my arm to touch the air-tight door.

She smiled at me with that heart full of pure intentions and pointed at the locking mechanism.

I was so afraid. Fear clutched my heart. The sound of my own blood drowned out his voice. I finally found the courage when I noticed the color of her eyes.

The howling winds were already ablaze in a dance of blues and greens. I must have lasted less than a tenth of a second. The shelter was wiped clean in one fell swoop. All that trapped energy released, adding to the flames of burning ice.

“Thou chosest well.” Khlumnus Hodoratus took shape between unspoken hues. His eyes and his smile were tipped in oranges and his pale skin a hot white. “Welcome, savior.”

He showed me visions of a world born anew. The flood as his flames to wash away our sins.

He promised to save us.

I finally saw her again.

Cristalla was waiting for me.

Her eyes were green.

Continue reading: Permafrost #4 Buried Alive “Purifying Fire”

Saving Grace

My rough idea for today’s flash fiction played out more or less how I wanted. I was unsure of how vague to keep the idea of this demon or deity, but erred on the side of allowing the reader to excuse it as psychosis for the time being.

My personal goals are much more around finding a comfortable blend between this somewhat scifi setting and more fantastic storytelling. I believe the result strikes an uncanny balance, which is appropriate.

Whether or not that translates into an engaging and enjoyable experience, well I leave that up to you to decide.

Let me know what you think and we still have one more week to go!

Until next time,

—JMB