Value Judgment
In spirit and in gold
Hey! How do you weigh the worth of an expression?
A thought drifting through my mind this past week focused on the balance between action and intention.
The way a given goal does not always match how it is perceived.
The shades of responsibility hidden in that phrase take shape and are colored by the variety of forms and hues that define the human experience.
Our unique perspectives will answer the same question differently.
These thoughts first surfaced during an otherwise typical conversation.
At a certain point, I must have been hovering a complaint around some kind of ineffective action. My interlocutor chimed in with an unexpected citation:
14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?
15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food,
16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?
17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.
18 Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.
Now, I am not religious, but neither am I burdened by a burning hatred for religion. I can see the words of any ancient text as a source of wisdom, divorced from any damage.
So I thought we could begin by diving into the deep end of divinity with a passage from the Good Book.
And if the early modern English is a bit opaque, the core of the context was explained to me as follows:
Faith without works is dead.
Religion or belief without meaningful action is useless.
While I tend to view this battle (or something quite similar) from the perspective of authorial intent, it is illuminating to see the shadows from a new angle.
That is to say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions and successful business starts with tossing out ethics and morals.
Provable and effective effort will work to achieve any goal.
Conflicted Conclusions
The dichotomy thus lies in the judgment of what it all means. In the religious context above, this is solved with faith. The pious come to understand their place through belief and submission to God.
But that same intrinsically opposed aspect of meaningful action and intention is also a core part of expression. Whether writing, recording, or performing in any way, self-awareness is demanded in order to create anything meaningful at all.
There is not, however, the same answer waiting in faith, unless you receive some kind of divine commission.
Besides, I mean to focus on a more worldly affair, acknowledging both what the audience wants and what I want as an artist (inconvenient or otherwise).
That was how this idea came up for a second time. One of my online author friends, Joseph Allen, posted a video talking about the importance of including a conflict in a story.
The whole video is entertaining and engaging, but what caught my attention the most was the opening statement:
« Au contraire ! » I shouted at my phone, immediately wanting to reply with a few pithy lines. I then pointed the camera at my face and tried my best to organize an argument.
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While playful in tone, what I talk about is painfully relevant. The struggle to fully express oneself while being aware of how that version of reality may not please everyone’s ears.
How do we judge ourselves?
How can one person ever judge another?
My message was more about the necessary betrayal that comes with sacrificing your voice to adapt to a more profitable market.
If the goal is nothing more than a return on an investment, then the decision is already made.
However, if there exists even the slightest hint of hope, is it truly worth abandoning all belief?
Abstractly, giving in to the den of sin that is success is inherently a world devoid of meaning beyond its monetary worth. Value translated into a power tied to the bottom line.
Indeed, that very well may be true, but it’s also a path that inevitably leads to nihilism. If you get rich, you can exploit that by further giving in to hedonism, but there is no greater meaning in this context beyond mindless self-indulgence.
The framework itself makes it so!
And through that we are met with shades of the same questions again.
Standing on the battleground between perceived intention and effected action. Only with the concession that neither matter if you can buy everyone out.
What is right?
Does it make me happy?
Homeland?
The darker visions are painted by the unsatisfied artist reaching the end of their days with deep pockets filled to the brim with gold and glitter.
Everything paid in full, but the regrets still linger. A haunting emotion that will never die and that offers no quarter for the soul who sold the world.
There’s some saying about how things happen in threes.
A waltz of some sort or some such.
Three steps to fulfill and feel the rhythm.
, an old Buildspace friend, messaged me with some kind words and I found her latest article had me thinking about these ideas all over again.
She tackles this ongoing battle with indecision by suggesting a more inward approach. Her answer asks us to be courageous as we search for comfort within ourselves while accepting that there is no escape from impersonal suffering — a rather Buddhist flavored reading.
Through recognizing the need for balance, perhaps even a middle way, a stable heart and peaceful mind is forged.
A primordial push toward understanding meaningful action. Accepting who and where we are in the context of the universe — never mind the how and why.
Her specific use of finding a home felt particularly pertinent, considering some of my latest lamentations.
But beyond that, I found a parallel between her reflections and Albert Camus, specifically his conception of absurdism.
We must imagine Sisyphus happy.
In his philosophy, the quiet question is actually quite loud: If life is meaningless, is it even worth living at all?
For Camus, humans must combat the absurdity that is the lack of any inherent meaning in existence. Stuck between an illusion of holy salvation and a reality of deep despair, he offers a third path: embrace the absurdity.
Sisyphus is his prime example. A mortal king who dared defy the Gods and is thus condemned to his famous damnation. Until the end of time, Sisyphus pushes a boulder up a hill, only for it to tumble back down, forcing him to begin anew.
Camus reiterates how even with this eternal punishment, Sisyphus performs his task to perfection. Aware of the absurdity and doing it anyway, we must imagine him happy.
Or perhaps as Justyna says:
Clown’s Curse
There’s a tangential way in which these themes continually affect me and the gap between my self-confidence and the persona I project.
I may be quite comfortable and competent on a stage or a page, but that is nothing more than a mask and makeup. Every word and every line hides an incredible fear that I have done something wrong.
I am judging myself, even if no one else is.
But finding inner peace in a middle way that takes on the ideals of meaningful effort and understands a target audience is perhaps the best way for me to face my own absurdity.
Or maybe that’s just how I need to define my boulder to find my home.
In any case, it certainly fits my outlook of a patchwork of hope.
Until next time.
—JMB
Wish you and Xiaoyun would come and visit.